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2001-09-06 (Thursday) - 10:37 p.m.
I went to try out a Jeep Liberty today as I figured it was my patriotic duty to drive a big SUV and what better an SUV than that proclaimed to be for the things that the greatest country in the history of countries stands for -USA! USA! USA! Sadly, what I found, however, was a relatively small vehicle fit for anarchists and commies but not decent people. I don't recommend that any Christian Patriot or even any person with red blood -and keep in mind that red blood is quite different from red thoughts- drive one of these small socialist contraptions. (The only exception to this would be if you are a member of the inferior gender. In that case, the Liberty is your a good choice but do keep in mind that you are to at all times be a Good Christian Woman and follow this credo.) Instead of that Green Mobile, I suggest the Ford Excursion, a vehicle for real men who fear God but worship capitalism. It is big, gets bad gas mileage and allows you to just dominate the car and run through wimp mobiles, city busses, pedestrians, bicyclists and even that good for nothing wicked woman who used to be your wife! What is there not to like? Every time I drive it, I mange to kill a few immigrants and other assorted scum who populate our streets due to the liberals. About the only problem with the expedition is the name. Excursion implies travel and travel implies going to other countries that are not America - USA! USA! USA!- and thus are inferior to the land that I love! If the good people of Ford could take care of this problem, it would be the ultimate vehicle. USA! USA! USA!
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